# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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