I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
