Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
