i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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