you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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