I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
how drunk are you?
Several
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
