Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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