I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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