I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
