before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
