OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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