she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Green mimosas i think yes
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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