this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
