She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
