Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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