My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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