Me too!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Panties = found
Randomize
