so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
