that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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