You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
