I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
