I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
