no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
