I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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