All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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