a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
