Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
