you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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