Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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