with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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