Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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