hell yes lets make some ravioli
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
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dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
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He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.