At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony