im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.