Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby

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  (828): i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby http://tfl.nu/ihl1
  Replies (10) Good night (2729) Bad night (823)
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  (716): View more from New York

  a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz

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  (716): a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz http://tfl.nu/ffgi
  Replies (39) Good night (7944) Bad night (957)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.

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  (480): she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever. http://tfl.nu/lqf2
  Replies (73) Good night (1356) Bad night (15924)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude

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  (630): I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude http://tfl.nu/ede0
  Replies (20) Good night (7360) Bad night (1120)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.

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  (804): Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned. http://tfl.nu/m2za
  Replies (19) Good night (3101) Bad night (1847)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.

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  (613): Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi. http://tfl.nu/hd9g
  Replies (9) Good night (4318) Bad night (1612)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.

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  (856): I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog. http://tfl.nu/f78e
  Replies (5) Good night (2446) Bad night (960)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.

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  (937): How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold. http://tfl.nu/0xc1
  Replies (14) Good night (2896) Bad night (793)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's a Thursday.

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  (717): I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend! (215): It's a Thursday. http://tfl.nu/79xq
  Replies (6) Good night (3220) Bad night (672)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.

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  (520): That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky. http://tfl.nu/gdoe
  Replies (2) Good night (475) Bad night (1195)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar

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  (773): If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar http://tfl.nu/xi33
  Replies (2) Good night (707) Bad night (317)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck

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  (512): I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck http://tfl.nu/fgif
  Replies (8) Good night (1069) Bad night (543)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?

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  (+44): HELP! How do I get paint off the dog? http://tfl.nu/myj5
  Replies (6) Good night (403) Bad night (572)
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  (589): View more from

  seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.

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  (589): seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him. http://tfl.nu/0cck
  Replies (2) Good night (319) Bad night (650)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.

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  (289): One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes. http://tfl.nu/z7m3
  Replies (4) Good night (563) Bad night (296)

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