Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  ...this stays between you and me

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  (508): so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear (401): ...this stays between you and me http://tfl.nu/qjou
  Replies (6) Good night (1120) Bad night (2200)
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  (925): View more from California

  I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.

  (916): View more from California

  You're drunk. Make complete sentences.

  (925): View more from California

  It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.

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  (925): I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it. (916): You're drunk. Make complete sentences. (925): It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand. http://tfl.nu/78xl
  Replies (13) Good night (2556) Bad night (742)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?

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  (503): I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant? http://tfl.nu/9d2p
  Replies (15) Good night (727) Bad night (3174)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.

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  (678): Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date. http://tfl.nu/ovv7
  Replies (3) Good night (2956) Bad night (838)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?

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  (920): Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job? http://tfl.nu/emh8
  Replies (10) Good night (2728) Bad night (1059)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants

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  (231): the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants http://tfl.nu/ctb5
  Replies (4) Good night (1811) Bad night (737)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.

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  (601): i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this. http://tfl.nu/9qd9
  Replies (5) Good night (918) Bad night (1855)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.

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  (440): While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from. http://tfl.nu/t77t
  Replies (19) Good night (1128) Bad night (1932)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.

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  (816): I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose. http://tfl.nu/acx3
  Replies (0) Good night (1053) Bad night (497)
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  (831): View more from California

  Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...

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  (831): Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone... http://tfl.nu/6t56
  Replies (2) Good night (973) Bad night (532)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?

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  (859): Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record? http://tfl.nu/se6e
  Replies (6) Good night (1725) Bad night (508)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...

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  (573): It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger... http://tfl.nu/ymen
  Replies (4) Good night (488) Bad night (765)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I want to own their dicks and all the attachments

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  (210): I want to own their dicks and all the attachments http://tfl.nu/6rti
  Replies (1) Good night (871) Bad night (473)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.

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  (919): We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible. http://tfl.nu/ny7k
  Replies (0) Good night (798) Bad night (408)
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  (650): View more from California

  Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you

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  (650): Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you http://tfl.nu/x9ov
  Replies (2) Good night (860) Bad night (312)

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