I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.