Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
