do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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