Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
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