U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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