when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
