I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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