turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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