dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
