eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
