i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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