i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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