Having a random hookup so left but love u
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
