You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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