I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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