wat bout pragnant strippers??
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
