so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
