Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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