Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
