I've blown a few things in my day
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
