i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize