Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Randomize
