Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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