i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
