Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
