"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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