did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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