Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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