If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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