i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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